Note: This is not a serious article but an annoyed gloss about all these click-baiting articles which sprout like mushrooms from the ground on Medium these days.
You won’t believe how easy it is to make money with writing …
Look at the screenshot above! More than $11.000 in a few days for a single story on Medium!
In fact, it has never been so easy to make money, become famous and a valuable member of society.
Do not be surprised…
Maybe you are surprised because you have not read my name yet or because you can not remember any of my articles?
Well, there are two good reasons for that.
For one thing, I am more well known in Europe, whereas in America I have done great work under my pseudonyms, I’ll tell you more at the end of this article.
On the other hand, I have a lot to do here in Germany. You know x-mas is coming soon. So i always have to commute between the north pole and the children’s rooms to collect wish lists 🎄
Unfortunately, it often happens that Chancellor Merkel calls me in the evening to seek advice on her strategies regarding Trump and Putin, yeah, unfortunately than I hardly have time to write. Also, my hedge fund needs more attention than usual in these days .
Nevertheless, it is my heartfelt desire that people with potential also find their way into prosperity and recognition. Yes, you’d think I’m almost a socialist, definitely a philanthropist. Therefore, I take the time now,
Why today is your lucky day
Do you want to be rich? — Sure, I Know!
Do you want to be rich, simply by writing? Not just be paid, but getting $11,000 per Month just in addition to your current job? Or better $ 20,000? Oh what am I saying, maybe there is a lot more in it!
Do you want to become popular? Become a valued guide with thousands of followers?
Do you want to make sure that your brilliant thoughts are finally heard by the world? Become rich and incidentally save the climate and peace in the world?
Then today is your lucky day! All this is possible, just with the right attitude and the right person at your side…
I’ll tell you how to do all this. It is really very simple. But you have to follow my advice! Thoroughly!
All you have to do is: Read this article! Read it completely! Read it twice, read it three times. But before you do this, be sure to sign up for a membership with Medium or at least sign up within some days after!. 😆
Share this article, comment on it, and understand it.
You are so close to achieving all your dreams. Let’s start your writing career, now.
Step 1 — Learn to write the right way!
I know, you can write already. But you need to focus on important aspects.
The main import thing is to practice your signature. Confused why?😕
It’s obvious and this exercise is important. If you are successful later, giving autographs has to go smoothly. After all, the autographs you write your groupies on their bare skin with lipstick shouldn’t look like a first-grader’s tinker, right? 💄
Once you are successful, you will run out of time to practice.
So here comes the first exercise: Take your checkbook, write small amounts on it, practice your autographs on it (not yet with lipstick) and send me the checks to see wether your signature already looks worthy for a rising star.
Yes, I’ll definitely take the time! Invest in this exercise some time! 😃
Step 2— Do not exchange unnecessarily with others (I)
There are thousands of author groups on the web and they all promise to improve your writing skills through mutual exchange and advice.
Don’t trust them, they just want to steal time from you with doubts. You just need me, myself and I!
Step 3 — Do not exchange unnecessarily with others (II)
You only need me. It would be fatal if you discussed your ideas with too many people. Range is completely overrated. I will do this for you. Wonder why?
Here is the answer:
It would be stupid if you were later associated with novice articles when you are a master of the writing profession. Therefore, I offer you to publish your essays under my name for the time being. Trust me.
Step 4 — Write about everyday things
Above all, write about everyday things!
- You got kidnapped by the taliban, were able to escape and discovered a Yeti in the high mountains of Afghanistan
- You are a taliban fighter and recently kidnapped someone while shopping, who then discovered a yeti
- You accidentally discovered a Covid-19 vaccine while experimenting with kitchen spices
Just the everyday things in life …
Step 5 —Don’t be selfish
I know it can be a problem.
As your success grows, you may find yourself a genius, Santa Claus, a presidential adviser. As you become successful, you may want to offer tips to others on how to become successful too, and you may be inclined to rip these others off.
Here is my opinion on it: If it gets you ahead, do it!
But think of your master who taught all of this so selflessly. Should you become successful despite … ahh I meant …. thanks to my advises, then invite me for a coffee an send me an appropriate check. 😆